We will rock you Two: the script
a brilliant stroy from fanficyionFanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
Author: Scaramouche Figaro
Fiction Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-04-05 - Updated: 12-04-05 id:2688462
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this script are my own they all come from the musical we will rock you by Queen and Ben Elton. All songs used in this script were written by Queen. The songs are in bold and stage directions in italics.
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Backdrop is now a field of street lamps and there is a broken van to the stage right. Scaramouche is lying in the van asleep. Galileo has woken up and is fiddling with Scaramouche’s guitar, trying to play it.
Galileo: It must be broken…
He plucks a wire, and there is a huge screech.
Scaramouche flings herself up in bed
Scaramouche: Bloody hell Gaz! What the hell have you done now?
Scaramouche stomps out of the van and over to where he is standing. Galileo stands away from the guitar trying to look innocent. Silently points at the guitar and amp in a pile on the floor as if to blame them.
Scaramouche: Gaz! Strangling cats isn’t very nice!
Galileo: (Stutters) What I wasn’t- I mean I haven’t- I didn’t touch- urgh! It was broken ok! I was just fixing it… Told you you were going to break it doing that- that- that thing to it yesterday!
Scaramouche isn’t buying a word of this and just raises her eyebrows at him.
Scaramouche: Yeah whatever, you- hang on! What thing was I doing to it yesterday?
Galileo: You know! When you had that- that- that THING and were prodding all the- the- the THINGS with it…
Scaramouche: (looks confused) you mean a pick?
Galileo: Possibly
Scaramouche: Oooh you stupid wa- it’s what you can use to strum a guitar
Galileo: Oh. Well the guitar ain’t working now- I’ve been playing it
Scaramouche: Ever occur to you that that might be why it isn’t working?
She goes over to the guitar picks it up strums a chord nothing comes out, she looks over to the amp turns it on and then plays the chord again this time blaring it out.
-You didn’t turn it on.
Galileo: Oh. Well whatever.
Scaramouche: Urgh!
Scaramouche: I can’t live with you
Galileo: But I can’t live without you -
Scaramouche: I can’t let you stay
Galileo: But I can’t live if you go away
Scaramouche: I don’t know just how it goes
All I know is I can’t live with you
Galileo: I’m having a hard time
I’m walking a fine line
Between hope and despair
You may think that I don’t care -
Scaramouche: But I travelled a long road to
Get a hold of my sorrow
I tried to catch a dream
But nothing’s what it seems
Galileo: Love is saying baby it’s all right
Scaramouche: When deep inside you’re really petrified
Lover turns to hater
Galileo: On this escalator
Both: I can’t live with you
But I can’t live without you
Scaramouche: I can’t breathe - if you stay
But I can’t bear you to go away
Galileo: I don’t know what time it is
All I know is I can’t live with you
Scaramouche: We’re stuck in a bad place
We’re trapped in a rat race
Galileo: And we can’t escape
Scaramouche: Maybe there’s been some mistake
Galileo: We’re trying to make a high score
Scaramouche: We’re walking through a closed door
Galileo: And nobody’s winning -
Scaramouche: We’re just sinning against ourselves
Galileo: Hold on baby tell me it’s all right
Scaramouche: Anger’s breaking from the hurt inside
Galileo: Passions screaming hotter
Doin’ what we gotta do - yeah
Both: I can’t live with you, I can’t live with you
I can’t live, I can’t live
I can’t, I can’t live with you
Galileo: But baby, I’ll never ever leave you
Both: I can’t live with you
Scaramouche: But I can’t live without you -
Cause I’m in love with you
Galileo: And everything about you
Both: I can’t live with you
No, I just can’t live, I just can’t live
I can’t live with you,
Scaramouche: And I can’t live without you
Galileo: through the madness, through the tears
We’ve still got each other
For a million years…
Galileo: Hey I knew that. Look can we just start this morning all over again.
Scaramouche: Okay.
Galileo: Good. Good morning.
Scaramouche shakes her head and turned to go back into the van. Galileo goes in after her
Galileo: Hello? I said good morning
Scaramouche: I know and it’s about to be a much better morning… Shagileo…
She wraps her arms around his neck and- well- stuff goes on. Then after a few minutes Scaramouche gasps and pulls away. She begins to put her clothes on.
Scaramouche: Hurry up Gaz we’re gonna be late (Galileo looks confused) we’re supposed to be meeting Meat and the others…
Galileo: Oh. Well we’re already an hour late
He pulls Scaramouche closer to him but Scaramouche pulls away from him, and starts rummaging through stuff in the van in a panic
Galileo: There’s no clock yet
Scaramouche: Well whose fault is that Gaz?
Galileo: Well, if you helped me, I could get it done quicker…
Scaramouche: EXCUSE ME! HELP YOU! I help plenty, you arse- oh, and Gaz?
Galileo: Yes?
Scaramouche: Why oh why were you trying to play that guitar?
Galileo: Well, I wanted to see if I could play it
Scaramouche: there is still only that guitar in existence. It is a vital instrument of freedom, and if you break it, I will break one of YOUR vital instruments! So even I can’t play it!
END OF SCENE
Bohemians are all over the place in what looks like to be somewhere in the Houses of Parliament or Buckingham Palace but it is now decorated like the Heartbreak Hotel was. They are just sitting around waiting for Galileo and Scaramouche to appear. However Meat is pacing up and down very annoyed – it seems this is not the first time Galileo and Scaramouche have been late for a meeting.
Meat: Grrrrrrr! Are those two EVER on time?
Just as she says this Galileo and Scaramouche hurry on stage left, hand in hand and out of breath.
Are you two EVER on time?
Scaramouche tilts her head and a small grin appears on her lips as she prepares to answer Meat but Galileo beats her to it.
Galileo: Sorry Meat, we got carried away, we were just-
Meat: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!
Galileo and Scaramouche go and sit in a spare place
Now can we get on with business (still sore from Galileo and Scaramouche’s lack of punctuality) unless ANYONE has anything they’d rather be doing…?
Scaramouche: Well-
Aretha: Oh come on Meat! Cut ‘em some slack! You remember what it’s like to be their age and in love!
Bohemians go silent as Aretha realises what she has just said
Scaramouche: (inappropriately gives a short laugh and says to Aretha) Whoops!
Aretha: (To Meat) Sorry
Meat: Ah forget it. It doesn’t matter. Now on with business... Right as you all know we are to put on the rock concert –
Galileo: WOOHOO!
Scaramouche: Shut Up! Gaz.
Meat: The rock concert- (looks at Galileo who has his mouth covered by Scaramouche’s hand to refrain him from speaking) to show the kids what rock and proper music is all about. But err- what I have just found out today- is that if we err don’t want to be stopped from doing this gig by GlobalSoft we need to put it on within the next three days
She cringes as she waits for the Bohemians reactions. They all start talking amongst themselves about how this can’t be done. Scaramouche however stands up and starts yelling. Her voice soars above the other Bohemians voices
Scaramouche: WHAT! HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MANAGE THIS! IT’S BLOODY IMPOSSIBLE! IT CAN’T BE DONE
Meat: Hen calm do-
Scaramouche: DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’RE TELLING US WE HAVE JUST THREE DAYS TO PUT ON THE ROCK CONCERT OF A BLOODY CENTURY! IT CANNOT HAPPEN! ESPECIALLY NOT IF I’M CALM!
Meat: If it makes you feel any better it’s three days from tomorrow.
Galileo pulls Scaramouche by her arm towards him and hugs her so she can’t move- and prevents her from lunging at Meat- she continues to yell but her screaming is muffled by Galileo’s chest.
Galileo: Well we’re gonna have to get a move on
Meat: Oh you think-
Galileo: Don’t you start as well
Meat: Sorry but she has got a point. It’s practically impossible- but like you said we can try… So I’ll get a list together of what has to be done and we can take it from there
Galileo: Ok
Meat: (To all the Bohemians) Ok folks! We’re gonna meet back here in half an hour and I’ll give you all jobs to be getting on with
Bohemians wander off stage along with Meat, leaving Galileo still holding a screaming Scaramouche. He hesitates and slowly let’s go of her
Scaramouche: … HAT AS A METAPHOR!
Galileo: Breath
Scaramouche: Breath? BREATHE?
Galileo: OK! Ok. Don’t breath- I mean breath- obviously, but just please try and not yell- so much. Look, we can do this. It’s gonna be hard yeah and even if we don’t get it done in time we can at least try… What do you say? Try? - (laughs) without scaring the hell out of everyone
Scaramouche: (smiles at him) Fine I’ll try but I still don’t think it’s gonna happen in time.
Galileo: Right, well Meat and the others are gonna meet us back here in half an hour when she’s got together a list of stuff to be done.
Scaramouche: K. So err, what do we do till they get back?
Galileo: Anything…
He pulls her close to him and kisses her suggestively but she pushes him away by his shoulders
Scaramouche: Uh, wait. What if the others get back early?
Galileo: Then they’ll just have to get over it.
Scaramouche: (Vaguely amused) oooh! A bit confident aren’t we? You weren’t this tough last night
They kiss
Scaramouche: Wuss!
She pushes him over onto a platform and he pulls her on top of him, just as they start doing ‘stuff’, Pop wanders on, stage right, sees Galileo and Scaramouche, grins then covers his eyes points and yells
Pop: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! (He stumbles round the stage with his eyes covered and pointing) I’m blind! I’m blind!
Galileo and Scaramouche stand up and are watching him. Galileo looks amused; however, Scaramouche has her hands on her hips and is frowning.
Scaramouche: WHEN YOU’VE FINISHED! Pop. Is there any particular reason for why you’re here?
Pop stops messing around and stops to talk to Scaramouche
Pop: Yes sweet lady. Meat asked me to be here- to help out... And also I have a new acquaintance to introduce.
Galileo: (Looks pleased) Oh.
Scaramouche: (Not looking so pleased) Oh bloody fabulous. Last time you brought a ‘new acquaintance’ with you it took two weeks for the place to be fully fumigated
Galileo: So come on! Introduce us to your new friend!
Scaramouche: Oh don’t encourage him Gazza!
Pop: OK. (Calls offstage) Johnny
Johnny walks/struts onstage. He is very good looking and the only thing about him that looks remotely Bohemian is his clothes. He also looks very ‘up’ himself. He walks up to Galileo and Scaramouche- he stares and Scaramouche and holds his hand out to Galileo without taking his eyes off Scaramouche until he says…
Johnny Rotten: Hey! Nice to meet you. My name’s Johnny Rotten. You must be the dreamer I’ve heard so much about
Galileo: Yeah I’m Galileo (shakes his hand but is wary of Johnny in case Scaramouche fancies him) Hi!
Johnny turns to Scaramouche and holds out his hand again. Scaramouche looks at it, pulls a face and walks off
Pop: (To Johnny) she’s the one I told you about- his girlfriend
Johnny: Oh. Ok. (To Galileo) You’ve got a good one there
Galileo: I know... How do you know?
Johnny: Well it’s obvious! She’s stunning… And I’m sure she’s really nice- once you get to know her-
Pop: Nope. No. She’s not- she’s always like that
Johnny: Oh
Galileo: Hey! Give her a break!
Meat and all the other Bohemians come back on stage from various directions. Pop greets them and lets Johnny introduce himself. This is where his character really comes out. He truly thinks he is something special.
Johnny: hello one and all! My name is Johnny Rotten and it’s lovely of you all to be here! Now I here you are planning a little concert. So before you all get busy working on that please- (snaps his fingers at various Bohemians and gestures at various bags) take my luggage up to my room.
They all stare at Pop who looks a little taken aback but instructs them to do as he says- so they do.
Johnny: Now! (He rubs his hands together) I need someone to take my hand luggage and accompany me to my room.
He walks round the Bohemians almost as though he is inspecting them. Galileo is standing next to a big amp which Scaramouche is standing on Galileo looks very worried by the situation while Scaramouche looks absolutely mortified. Johnny spots Scaramouche.
Ah! Yes, you! Tinkerbell! Come here!
Scaramouche: What!
Johnny: (Tuts) come on Tinkerbell! You heard me
Scaramouche: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME!
Johnny sighs dramatically, before walking over to Scaramouche, grabbing her hand, pulling her off the amp and pulling her to his side centre stage where a few small cases of his remain.
Johnny: Now, Tinks. I think you’d better take my advice and lose the attitude. Do you know what I’m called?
Scaramouche: Idiot
Johnny: No-
Scaramouche: Dick head
Johnny: NO-
Scaramouche: Wanker
Johnny: NO!
Johnny walks up to Scaramouche and outs his arm around her shoulder
Johnny: I can dim the lights
And sing you songs full of sad things
Girl bohemians sarcastically mime crying.
We can do the tango just for two
Spins Scaramouche round by one of her hands. She has a look of utter disgust on her face, pulls away, and walks over to Gaz who puts his arm around her shoulder.
I can serenade and gently play
On your heart strings
Johnny mimes playing a violin
Be your Valentino just for you
Bohemians split onto two groups on either side of the stage, Johnny at the front of the group SL, Scaramouche and Galileo at the front of the group SR.
Johnny’s bohemians and Johnny: Ooh love
Scaramouche’s group: (Mockingly) Ooh lover boy
Johnny: What're doing tonight
Johnny’s bohemians: hey boy?
Johnny: Set my alarm turn on my charm
that’s because I'm a good old fashioned lover boy
Ooh let me feel you heartbeat
Johnny’s bohemians slap hands against their chests
Girl bohemians:(Grow faster faster)
Johnny: Ooh can you feel my love heat
Come on and sit on my hot seat of love (Does 3 hip thrusts)
And tell me how do you feel right after all (Hand on chest)
I'd like for you and I to go romancing
Say the word your wish is my command
Johnny grabs Scaramouche’s hand and pulls her around the stage, twirling her around
Bohemians: Ooh love Ooh lover boy
To Scaramouche as he bends her down low tango style.
Johnny: What're doing tonight
Galileo angrily stomping forward, trusting one finger towards him, legs in a wide stance
Galileo: hey boy-
Johnny pushes Scara back to Galileo. Galileo catches her
Johnny: Write my letter feel much better
And use my fancy patter on the telephone
Stands with his legs together with hand on his forehead
Johnny: When I'm not with you
Think of you always I want you
Bohemians in his group mime fanning themselves
Girl Bohemians: (I miss those long hot summer nights)
Johnny: When I'm not with you
Think of me always I want you want you
Scaramouche walks forward and pushes Johnny backwards with two hands
Scaramouche: (Menacingly) Hey boy where did you get it from? Hey boy where did you go?
Johnny bows to Scaramouche.
Johnny: I learned my passion
In the good old fashioned school of lover boys
Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely
Scaramouche points one finger at her wrists mockingly
Scaramouche: (One two three four five six seven eight nine o'clock)
Johnny: I will pay the bill you taste the wine
Scaramouche mimes throwing up but then Johnny grabs Scaramouche back to centre stage and stands her next to him.
Johnny: Driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely
just take me back to yours that will be fine
Girl bohemians in Johnny’s group hold their arms out wide
Girl Bohemians: (Come on and get it)
All Bohemians: Ooh love Ooh lover boy
what’re you doing tonight
Scaramouche and Galileo both stomp forward and point at Johnny
Scara and Galileo: hey boy-
Johnny holds his hands up to stop them
Johnny: Ev'rything's all right just hold on tight
that’s because I'm a good old fashioned lover boy
He finishes the song, and turns his back to her whilst sorting some cases out for Scaramouche to carry and starts giving instructions about them. But Scaramouche grabs his arm. He is now facing her; she squares menacingly up to him and replies…
Scaramouche: (mimics him) Now, I think you’d better take my advice and (normal voice) jump up your own arse and die! You stuck up bastard! Good old fashioned school of lover boys? More like good old fashioned school of little pricks!
She turns and walks over to stand with Galileo- the remaining Bohemians look amused by what Scaramouche has just done
Meat: (To other Bohemians) Ah you can always rely on our Scaramouche ta be tactful
Pop: (Interrupting everything) Ok, ok! Listen Johnny I need to have a word with the others-
Scaramouche: Too right you do!
Pop: As I was saying Johnny. If Meat would be kind enough to show you to your room while I talk to the Bohemians.
Meat: But-
Pop: Please Meat I really need to speak to everyone- I can talk to you later
Meat: Tut! Fine…
Pop: Thanks. (To Johnny) Now if you follow Meat she will show you to your room.
Johnny: Ok (he gestures at two small bags next to him indicating for her to pick them up) ahem?
Meat: Ya think I’m carryin’ tham yav gat another think coming!
She walks off the stage and Johnny quickly grabs his bags and hurries after her.
Pop: Right! Now before you say anything I know he’s a bit (pull’s a face) a bit-
Scaramouche: Up himself?
Pop: Well yeah-
Scaramouche: Stuck up.
Pop: Err-
Scaramouche: Arrogant
Pop: Yeah. That’s enough! Alright! Now I know you probably think why on earth I brought him here. But I have a very good reason… (He pauses)
Galileo: Which is?
Pop: He used to work for GlobalSoft!
He says this as though it is some kind of brilliant thing, but all the Bohemians gasp.
Aretha: What!
Bob: You brought a spy here!
Charlotte: He’s gonna get us killed!
The Bohemians panic.
Pop: No no no no no no noooo! He USED to work for them and he left them to become a Bohemian. (He grins) so if he acts a bit stuck up then it’s coz he had good position at GlobalSoft and isn’t completely used to all (he gestures around him) this…yet.
The Bohemians calm down a bit but look very pissed
Pop: So it might be worth being a bit patient with him because I believe he could have some very valuable information.
Meat walks back onstage
Meat: Ok folks ah suggest ya all go ta bed now an’ I’ll assign you’s jobs in tha mornin’- it’s too late ta start any real work now anyway. Scaramouche, Galileo ah want yous ta stay here tonight- ah donnae like ya goin back on your own at this time of night an’ I need ya here on time in tha mornin’ if we wanna be ready for tha gig in time.
Scaramouche & Galileo: Ok…
END SCENE
It’s the next morning and all the Bohemians plus Galileo, Scaramouche, Pop and Johnny are waiting for Meat to arrive- they all look very tired but have started working without Meat for the gig. Scaramouche is sitting next to Galileo on the floor fiddling with some wires and Johnny is on a ledge a little bit away from Scaramouche with a tarty bohemian- the only ones not doing any work.
Scaramouche: Oh for gods sake! Where the bloody hell is she! And she has the nerve to have a go at us for being late!
Galileo: (sighs) I’m going to go and see where she’s got to
Galileo gets up and walks off. Whilst the other bohemians are wrapped up in there own conversations and work Scaramouche is sitting by herself and Johnny has been watching her. He hops off his ledge and crouches down behind her.
Johnny: (whispers in her ear) You know, I dreamt I saw saw you naked last night. I nearly died from the pleasure
Scaramouche: Yeah? If I saw you naked, I’d probably die from laughing
Galileo walks back on stage and see Johnny with Scaramouche. He waits at the side until the tarty Bohemian that was next to Johnny goes over to him. He stands up straight and puts his arm around her.
Johnny: I err; hope we didn’t make to much noise in the night
Scaramouche: Nah, not at all… Even though I’m sure an epileptic having a fit in a bowling alley would have made less noise than you! You sounded like a bloody asthmatic walrus! KEEP IT DOWN! WE DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!
The bohemian pulls Johnny away and they go sit down together. Scaramouche hasn’t noticed Galileo come back and sit down next to her. She turns round and jumps as she sees him sitting there frowning at her.
Scaramouche: Jesus! What?
Gaz: I walked in, and I thought there was an escaped baboon mooning you, but then I figured out it was his face!
Scaramouche: No, Gazza, that was your reflection in the mirror by the door...Oh God! Don’t tell me you’re jealous of him!
Galileo: (Splutters) Jealous! Huh! Of him? Oh Scara- don’t make me laugh... But you two looked really close when I came back in and he really likes you!
Scaramouche: Oh my god! Gaz but for anything to go on I’d have to like him back! -And I don’t!
Galileo: Well, well that’s good because, err; you know I love you right?
Scaramouche: Of course I do… You know I love ya too don’t ya?
Galileo: Well I-
She cuts him off by pulling him towards her and kissing him. They finish and look at each other for a bit then Meat walks onstage.
Meat: Oh… So you’s got started then?
Scaramouche: Well we figured as you were LATE we may as well get some work done.
Meat: Oh shut up Scaramouche! Ah was late once, ok? There’s a big difference between being late once an bein late every single week!
Scaramouche: Alright! Don’t have a go at me- have a go at tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber over there, they’re not doing anything
Meat looks up and sees Johnny is sitting there talking to the tarty bohemian doing nothing…
Meat: Hey! You! Mr and Mrs Universe! Ya might not be aware mister. But Paris certainly is! We have a gig ta put on in just three days an unless ya want Scaramouche after yous- I’d start doin some work!
Johnny: Well if it gets Scaramouche after you I think the works worth avoiding.
Meat: Not if ya value your life.
Johnny and Paris hop off the ledge and start looking for something to do.
END SCENE
It’s later in the day and everyone is working very hard except for Johnny who still has his eye firmly on Scaramouche. Scaramouche and Galileo are working very closely together on a fuse box or something. Johnny makes his way over to Scaramouche but on his way he has to pass Bob who was bent over a large amp and Johnny deliberately pushes him over it. Galileo rushes over to see if he’s ok but Scaramouche carries on working and Johnny goes up close next to her. Scaramouche thinks it is Galileo and looks up but sees it is Johnny and jumps
Scaramouche: Oh god! Not you again!
Johnny grins, Scaramouche tries to continue working.
Johnny: So err, Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Scaramouche: Yes, you're life
Johnny: Oooer! You know you’re really hot. D’you know what’d look good on you?
Scaramouche sighs and rolls her eyes/
Johnny: Me.
Scaramouche: Mmm. And d’you know what’d look good on you? A paper bag. Over your head!
Johnny: Ok. So you have a boyfriend then?
Scaramouche: Yes.
Johnny: Want another one?
Scaramouche: No. Especially not you!
Johnny: Bet I could change your mind. Why don’t you come over here and sit on my lap, we could talk about the first thing that pops up?
Scaramouche: Which would be my hand coming up to smack your arrogant little face.
Johnny: Well I’m off now-
Scaramouche: Good!
Johnny: I’m just going to go phone God… I’ll tell him he’s missing an angel
Scaramouche: (stops working.) Alright I give up! Are you trying to get into the Guinness World record books for the crappest chat-up lines ever or something?
Johnny: Hey babe-
Scaramouche: Hey hey! I’m a pig now!
Johnny: Personally I’d love to see you rolling around in mud
Scaramouche looks up and sees Galileo standing behind Johnny. She starts laughing.
Johnny: Oh you liked that one! Ok, err; do you have a mirror in your pocket? Scaramouche: Why?
Johnny: Cause I could really see myself in your pants.
Scaramouche: Yeah and I can really see you going through that door over there.
Johnny: What? Ah whatever. You know it’s going to be you. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
Scaramouche: (nods towards Galileo) I think he might have a few.
Johnny stops grinning and looks behind him to see Galileo standing there. Galileo grabs him and pulls him away from Scaramouche.
Scaramouche: (relieved but joking) Oh my hero!
Galileo: (gives a small laugh) you ok?
Scaramouche: Yeah I’ll survive.
Galileo: Good good.
END SCENE
It is the end of the day and Scaramouche and Galileo are staying over at the new Bohemian HQ once again. Galileo is lying in bed (looking a little eager) waiting for Scaramouche who is walking round the room in one of Galileo’s t-shirts and her knickers putting things away.
Galileo: Can’t you leave that till morning and just come to bed… Please?
Scaramouche is folding up a t-shirt at the end of the bed; she turns and smiles at him
Scaramouche: Whys that then?
Galileo: So I have to spell it out now do I?
He moves to the bottom of the bed where Scaramouche is now kneeling, he grabs her by the waist and kisses her. Scaramouche quickly pulls away, chucks the t-shirt she was folding on the floor and runs around the side of the bed and gets in next to Galileo.
Scaramouche: I can do that in the morn-
She gets cut off by Galileo kissing her, and they lay down…
END SCENE
We quickly cut to Johnny in bed next door with yet another Bohemian in his bed. You can very clearly hear Scaramouche and Galileo doing ‘stuff’ in their room.
Johnny: And she has the nerve to say I make too much noise!
END SCENE
It’s the next morning Scaramouche and Galileo are out of bed and tidying up the room. Meat marches into the room and starts pulling the bed away from the wall.
Galileo: Hey Meat
Scaramouche: Err what are you doing?
Grunts whilst trying to move the bed away from the wall
Meat: Am- trying- ta- move- tha- bed- away- from- tha- wall.
Scaramouche: I gathered. But why?
Meat: (turns around) because some people have difficulty trying ta sleep with BANG! BANG! BANG! Against tha wall all night!
Scaramouche and Galileo glance at each other
Scaramouche: Oh.
Meat: Look donnae worry bout it. Come doown as soon as you’s ready ta start work Oh an donnae move tha’ bed back
Galileo: Ok.
END SCENE
Back in the concert hall the Bohemians have all woken up and are working. Scaramouche and Galileo walk in. Galileo goes over to a big table that’s filled with various makeshift tools, whilst Scaramouche walk over to an amp that needs working on and starts assessing what work has to be done to it. They get a few grins and glances from Bohemians that have heard of their previous nights events. Aretha wanders over to Scaramouche and leans her back against the amp.
Aretha: Good night last night?
Scaramouche: Bugger off and work on your tact, Reethie
Aretha: Ok. But you just be careful Scaramouche. You don't want mini Galileo’s and Scaramouche’s running round at your age.
Scaramouche: No one wants the first one. Miniatures (she shudders and Aretha gives a little laugh)
Aretha: Exactly.
Scaramouche: I don’t think you have anything to worry about anyway.
Aretha: (She tilts her head to one side.) How d’you mean sweetie?
Scaramouche: (Shifts about uncomfortably) Well- you know- we’re careful... And besides we’re too young for kids.
Galileo wanders over with a tray of assorted tools and puts them on top of the amp.
Galileo: Kids?
Scaramouche: What? Who said anything about kids?
Galileo: Oh I thought I heard- doesn’t matter.
Scaramouche gives a worried glance to Aretha who laughs and starts to walk off.
Aretha: Just don’t go giving him any ideas now honey!
Galileo: Ideas about what? Scaramouche?
Scaramouche: (Rolls her eyes at Galileo and calls to Aretha) Yeah thanks for that Aretha!
Aretha: (Calls back) Any time babe!
Scaramouche gives a panicky sigh before turning back to Galileo who looks increasingly more anxious. She tries to give him a little grin.
Galileo: No. Scaramouche- what were you and Aretha talking about?
Scaramouche: Nothing. Ok? Gah! I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about.
Galileo: Because I know it wasn’t nothing! Come on Scara! Just tell me. What was it?
Scaramouche: It-
Johnny walks round from the side of the amp where he had been hiding throughout Scaramouche’s conversations with Aretha and Galileo
Johnny: Kids.
Scaramouche: (Rolls her eyes again) Oy
Johnny: They were talking about you and Tinks having kids.
He finishes saying this with a big grin on his face as he looks at Scaramouche- who quite frankly looks as though she’s about to have some sort of panic attack.
Scaramouche: And if you keep calling me that- I’m going to make sure you can’t have kids!
Johnny: (He waves his finger at her) Ah ah ah! Don’t change the subject.
Galileo: Yeah!
Scaramouche: (Turns round at Galileo in surprise) Hey!
Galileo: Sorry. But I can’t believe this! (Pleased) you were talking about kids? So does this mean we-
Scaramouche: NO! No. I don’t want kids…
Galileo: (Extremely upset and confused) Oh… I thought because you were talking to- I just- So- No-… Not ever?
Scaramouche can see he’s really upset by this but answers honestly. She shakes her head slowly.
Scaramouche: (Softly) Sorry…
Galileo: (Trying to pretend everything’s all right) No. I mean no. We’re young right its stupid even thinking about it right now I mean things can change. We’re- we’re still kids ourselves! C’mon we’ve got the rest of our lives to do the whole kid thing!
Scaramouche: Gaz?
Galileo: (Brightly) Yeah?
Scaramouche: My feelings about this aren’t going to change
Galileo: (Sadly again) Yeah. I know. It’s just- humour me here babe, y’know?
Scaramouche: (Softly) K…
During this conversation all the Bohemians had stopped what they were doing to listen to them talking. The concert hall was now deadly silent.
Galileo: I’m going to err- just go and see where- err- yeah…
He walks off the stage past Scaramouche who watches him go. Once he’s gone she screws her face up turns towards the amp and starts punching and kicking it
Scaramouche: GRRRRRRRRRRRR! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIIIIIIT!
The Bohemians remain silent as Meat walks over to Scaramouche.
Meat: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
She tries to stop Scaramouche hurting herself and give her a hug but Scaramouche just pushes her away.
Johnny: So does this mean you’re free tonight now or is it still going to cost me?
Scaramouche along with all the other Bohemians glare at him
Scaramouche: I- (tearfully) Oh never mind! (She rushes off stage)
Meat: Ya had ta say somethin’ didn’t ya!
END SCENE
It’s a couple of hours later and Scaramouche is in the room her and Galileo have been sleeping in the past couple of nights. He still hasn’t come back and she is lying on the bed in the middle of the room with her guitar the side of her facing the ceiling blankly with some music playing in the background. There is a knock at the door and Scaramouche sits up abruptly
Meat: Hen? Hen, can ah come in?
Scaramouche doesn’t answer but Meat comes in anyway
Hey. Ah jus’ wanted ta see if yer were ok. It looked pretty heavy doown there
She looks around the room
He hasn’t come back then?
Scaramouche shakes her head with tears in her eyes.
Awww.
She goes to move the guitar off the bed but Scaramouche grabs it off her and puts it on her other side. Meat sits down where the guitar was and puts her arms around Scaramouche.
Don’ ya worry hen. He’ll be back. He loves ya too much. (She gives a short laugh) Ya know wha he’s like, Pops prob’ly found him an is borin’ him ta death with tha histories of some posters or aboot tha origins of some new artefacts eh?
Scaramouche: (In an unusually small voice for her) Yeah- I hope so.
Meat: Ok, then hen. Ya come doown when ye’s ready, yeah?
Scaramouche: Mmm-hmm
Meat: Tha’s me wee lass
Meat brushes Scaramouche’s face with her hand and lays her head down on the bed, she strokes her hair for a few minutes before leaving Scaramouche alone in the room turning the music off and light down as she goes.
END SCENE
It’s late at night now and Scaramouche is lying in the foetal position on the edge of the bed (same as she was when Meat left her) with her guitar lying next to her where Galileo normally slept. The door opens slightly and Galileo creeps into the room being careful not to wake up Scaramouche. The light has been turned out fully since and he crouches down beside her on her side of the bed and looks at her. He strokes her head and dries her tear stained face. He takes off his shoes, socks, trousers and shirt as he moves round the head of the bed where he moves the guitar onto the floor and lifts up the covers and sits on the edge of the bed. Scaramouche sits up suddenly.
Scaramouche: GAZ!
Galileo: (Smiles and gives her a small kiss on the lips) Hey it’s only me babe. Go back to sleep.
Scaramouche: What hap- Where- Are we-
Galileo: (Gives a small laugh) Sorry I didn’t mean to worry you. I just went for a walk. I ran into Pop that’s why I was so long. Sorry.
Scaramouche: No it’s- that’s what Meat said had happened… I thought you’d left me
Galileo: Left you? Nope, not me… Why did you-
Scaramouche raises her eyebrows.
Galileo: Oh. You thought I’d leave you because you didn’t want to have children?
Scaramouche: Well yeah. I mean you do don’t you? - Want them I mean?
Galileo: I wouldn’t mind them but it’s you I want… And if you don’t want them then that’s fine with me.
Scaramouche: Really?
Galileo: Really
Scaramouche: And you’re not just saying that?
Galileo: (Smiles) When have I ever been able to lie to you without you knowing.
Scaramouche: (Relieved) Oh I love you so much!
Scaramouche kisses Galileo and they embrace.
END SCENE
Everything has now been repaired the equipment just has to be set up now. The Bohemians are working quickly and the tension is high. Galileo and Scaramouche walk in.
Galileo: (To Bohemians) are you ready?
Scaramouche: well are you ready?
Galileo: (To Scaramouche) Give me your mind baby give me your body
Scaramouche: Give me some time baby let’s have a party
It ain’t no time for sleepin’ baby
Galileo: Soon it’s round your street I’m creeping
Scaramouche: - You better be ready –
We gonna
All: Tear it up
Stir it up
Break it up
Galileo: Baby-
We gotta
All: Tear it up
Shake it up
Make it up
Meat: as you go along
All: Tear it up
Square it up
Wake it up
Galileo: Baby.
All: Tear it up
Stir it up
Stake it out
Scaramouche: and you can’t go wrong.
Galileo: Hey!
I love you cos you’re sweet and I love you cos you’re naughty
I love you for your mind but give me your body
I wanna be a toy at your birthday party
Wind me up - wind me up - wind me up - let me go -
All: Tear it up
Stir it up
Break it up –
Scaramouche: let me go
All: Tear it up
Shake it up
Make it up - as you go along.
Tear it up
Turn it up
Burn it up
Galileo: (To Bohemians) - Are you ready
Bohemians: Oh yeah
Galileo: (To Scaramouche) Baby baby baby are you ready for me?
Bohemians: Oh yeah
Scaramouche: (To Galileo) Baby baby baby are you ready for love?
Bohemians: Oh yeah
Galileo: Are you ready - are you ready - are you ready for me?
Bohemians: Oh yeah
Galileo: I love you so near, I love you so far
I gotta tell you baby you’re driving me Ga Ga!
Meat: So come on! (Laughs) Work, work, work!
Galileo: I gotta tell you baby you’re driving me Ga Ga.
Aretha: NO! NOT AGAIN!
She pounces on him
Galileo: ahh, get offa me!
Scaramouche smiles at Galileo trying to fight Aretha off but she looks a bit ill. Meat looks at her.
Meat: You ok hen?
Scaramouche: Yeah I’m fine
Meat: Ok. Just nerves then eh?
Scaramouche smiles.
Scaramouche: Nah
She wanders off to start working
Galileo: Huh! Whatever (leans in and says to Meat) I don’t think she wants to admit but I think she is nervous. She been sick every morning since you told us about this concert, poor thing
He gives a little naïve laugh and goes off to help Scaramouche leaving Meat looking shocked. She starts having suspicions that Scaramouche might be pregnant. Her eyes are very wide and she is frozen to the spot. Charlotte Friggin’ Church comes over to her
Charlotte: Are you ok Meat? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost
Meat shakes her head violently and pulls Charlotte to the side of the stage and whispers.
Meat: I think she might be pregnant!
Charlotte: What! Who?
Meat nods her head to where Scaramouche is working.
Charlotte: (Shocked) NO!
Behind Meat and Charlotte there is a group of about three girl bohemians who they turn round quickly
Aretha: What?
Meat: Nothin, nothin
Charlotte: (hisses) Scaramouche is pregnant!
Aretha: WHAT!
Meat: Charlotte! No, I think she might be that’s all- but keep ya mouths shut ok? Because Scaramouche and Galileo don’t know either!
Cheeky fairy: Well don’t you think it might be nice of you to enlighten her with the fact she’s gonna have a baby!
Meat: No, cause ah donnae know if she really is pregnant am only guessin’
Madonna: Oh great! I’m sure that’s all she-
Meat: Now am gonna try and talk ta her later if ah can, an try an get her ta take a test-
Cheeky fairy: (Snorts) Good luck with that
Meat: What? Ya don’t think she’ll get angry at ma for askin do you?
Aretha: No not at all. After all, if someone who’s supposedly your friend comes over to you and tells you she thinks you’re pregnant and then goes on to ask you to take a test-
Madonna: She means come on Meat! Even the nicest person in the world isn’t gonna be too pleased with that let alone Scaramouche!
Meat: Mmmm, but I have to do something, Galileo thinks her morning sickness is nerves about the gig and she ain’t the most self confident person in the world, God knows how she’s gonna react when she starts getting bigger for apparently no reason!
Cheeky fairy: Another good point.
Aretha: So what are you going to do?
Meat: Well ah’ll have ta talk ta her or try ta
They turn round to see Scaramouche approaching them.
Madonna: Well good luck!
Cheeky fairy: You’re gonna need it
Aretha: Let us know how it goes
Meat: Ok.
The three leave Meat and get back to their work as Scaramouche goes up to Meat. She looks around to check no one is listening in.
Meat: What’s up hen?
Scaramouche: Errm I can’t talk now but later on I need to talk to you- in private.
Meat: Oooh sounds ominous (laughs)
Scaramouche: Mmm… So is that ok?
Meat: Yeah course it is- ah need a word with you an all
Scaramouche: K…
END SCENE
It’s the afternoon now and all the Bohemians including Johnny are working hard. Galileo is hidden behind a stack of amps, Scaramouche is round the front of the same stack of amps as Galileo- it is very quiet apart from the noise of the equipment.
Galileo: YES! HAHAHAHAA!
He pops out from behind the amps looking very pleased with himself several Bohemians turn to look at him
Galileo: (To the amp) I knew you weren’t broken! Just needed a few adjustments that’s all! (To all the Bohemians he’s just noticed were watching him, quietly) I fixed it.
The Bohemians grin and roll their eyes at him before getting back to their own work. Galileo goes up to Scaramouche who is smiling at him. He wraps one his arms round her waist and touches her face with his free hand. They stand close together for a while.
Galileo: Right I’m gonna get a drink. Want anything babe?
Scaramouche: Vanilla coke
Galileo: Vanilla?
Scaramouche: Mmm-hmm
Galileo But you hate that. You said it tastes like warmed up cat puke marinaded in brimstone with crap as seasoning
Scaramouche: I know but I like it now.
Galileo: (Looks confused) Ok. I’ll be back soon.
He kisses her on the head and walks off stage. Meat has been watching them and looks very worried. She walks quickly up to Scaramouche.
Meat: Hey hen. How bout you an me have that little talk now eh? She pulls Scaramouche away from her work
Scaramouche: (Worried) Ok… Is something wrong?
Meat: Let’s just wait till we get somewhere quiet ok.
Scaramouche: Ok.
END SCENE
Meat has taken Scaramouche into an almost empty room which Scaramouche hadn’t seen before it was a small cold room which had a very low makeshift table in it but no chairs just some cushions thrown around on the floor. Meat has pulled Scaramouche there by her hand. Once they are in Meat pulls Scaramouche round and sits her on the edge of the table.
Meat: Now ah need ta tell ya something but ah need ya ta let me say it without interrupting me. Ok?
Scaramouche looks worried. She nods slowly.
Meat: Good. Right. Ok. Errrm, ok. So am gonna cut ta tha chase here… Ah think ya may be pregnant, hen.
Scaramouche’s mouth drops open, her eyes narrow and it looks like she’s about to explode-
Scaramouche: Oh you back stabbing suspicious-
Meat: Hen, now before ya overre-
Scaramouche: (leaping up from the table pushing Meat away from her as she does so) OVERREACT! That’s a bit of a bloody understatement! I cannot believe you! Why do you think that? Do I look fat?
Meat: No-
Scaramouche: Well WHAT then! What evidence have you got! What one little piece of –
Meat: You like vanilla coke-
Scaramouche: AND! PEOPLE CHANGE!
Meat: The sickness in the morning-
Scaramouche: AND! I might have a bug! IT DOES NOT MEAN I AM BLEEDIN PREGNANT!
Meat: It was only a thought!
Scaramouche: WELL YOU CAN TAKE YOUR THOUGHT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR-
Meat: SCARAMOUCHE! FOR GODS SAKE! I ONLY WANNA HELP!
Scaramouche: THIS IS NOT HELPING! AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT MY MORNING SICKNESS?
Meat: Galileo-
Scaramouche: I’LL KILL HIM!
She makes for the door but Meat pulls her away. Scaramouche pulls her arm away from Scaramouche.
Scaramouche: GET OFF ME!
Meat: Look Scaramouche despite what you may think I am only trying to help you-
Scaramouche opens her mouth to argue but Meat talks over her.
Meat: ah thought ah’d say something ta ya because if ya are pregnant then knowing soon gives you a chance- if you wanted to do something about it…
Meat pauses and Scaramouche is silent.
Meat: Would you do something about it?
Scaramouche: (Thinks) I- I couldn’t do that to him…
Meat: Galileo?
Scaramouche: Yeah. It wouldn’t be right…
Meat: But you’re only young and if you really didn’t want it- you know he wouldn’t make you. I’ve seen how he looks at you- we all have. He’d do anything for you-
Scaramouche: Exactly! And I’d do anything for him…
Meat: Look hen, I only want ya ta take a test ta see if ya are- y’know- pregnant… Will ya do that for meh?
Scaramouche: (Considers this) ok…
Meat: Good girl (she gives her a kiss on the cheek) We’d better get back Galileo will be wonderin where ya are.
They exit the room
END SCENE
It’s time for the concert. Everyone is in there places and Bob lowers the lights in the rest of the concert hall which incidentally is packed full of GaGas on the verge of bohemia. He also brings up the lights on the smoke filled stage. Scaramouche runs onstage before Galileo with the opening chords of let me entertain you. Galileo runs on after her…
Galileo: Let me welcome you ladies and gentlemen
I would like to say hello
Are you ready for some entertainment?
Are you ready for a show?
Scaramouche: Gonna rock
Galileo: gonna roll you
Get you dancing in the aisles
Jazz and a razzmatazz you
With a little bit of style
C'mon let me enter- Let me entertain you let me entertain you
I've come here to sell you my body
I can show you some good merchandise
I'll pull you and pill you
Scaramouche: I'll cruella deville you
Galileo: And to thrill you I'll use any device
We'll give you crazy performance
We'll give you grounds for divorce
We'll give you pierce de resistance
And a tour de force-
Scaramouche: of course
Galileo: We found the right location
Got a lot of pretty lights
The sound and amplification listen
Scaramouche: Hey if you need a fix if you want a high
Galileo: Stickells see to that
With Electra and EMI
We'll show you where it's at
So c'mon
Let me entertain you let me entertain you
Let me entertain you
Just take a look at the menu
We give you rock a la carte
We'll breakfast at Tiffany's
Scaramouche: We'll sing to you in Japanese
Galileo: We're only here to entertain you
If you wanna see some action
You get nothing but the best
The S and M attraction
We've got the pleasure chest
Chicago and New Orleans
We get you on the line
If you dig the New York scene
Scaramouche: We'll have a son of a *censored* of a time
Galileo: C'mon
Let me entertain you let me entertain you
Let me entertain you tonight
END SCENE
It’s after the concert Scaramouche is backstage putting away her guitar. Galileo comes in and sneaks up behind her; he wraps his arms around her waist.
Galileo: Hey babe!
She jumps and turns round
Scaramouche: Oh hey.
He laughs
Galileo: Made you jump?
Scaramouche: Just a little
They laugh and kiss. Whilst they are kissing Meat comes in to get Scaramouche for her results but sees them. She stands quietly and watches them.
Galileo: So was it ok?
Scaramouche: Ok? It was bloody brilliant!
Galileo smiles and they kiss again
Galileo: I love you
Scaramouche: I love you too
They kiss again but this time Meat coughs. Scaramouche and Galileo turn to look at her. Scaramouche who knows why she is there frowns.
Meat: Sorry ta interrupt you two, but ay ah- need ta talk ta Scaramouche.
Galileo: Oh. Ok. I’ll see you soon?
Scaramouche: Yep.
He kisses her again she forgets Meat for a minute
Scaramouche: How bout I meet you upstairs in-
Meat: Scaramouche!
Scaramouche: (Sighs) I’ll see you soon…
She walks over to Meat who takes Scaramouche’s hand and they leave the room together…
END SCENE
Meat and Scaramouche enter the bathroom. Aretha, Charlotte, Cheeky Fairy and Madonna are waiting in there already. Scaramouche sees them
Scaramouche: Oh bloody hell! The last thing I need is an audience!
Aretha: Oh you think we’d miss this bit?
Madonna: Yeah
Cheeky fairy: (Getting excited) it’s the climax!
Meat: Oh shut up you lot.
Madonna: Yeah don't be stupid the climax would be her telling Galileo
(Meat pushes Scaramouche towards a cubicle) Go on hen, it s’ok ignore them.
Scaramouche goes into a cubicle and closes the door. From inside the cubicle she hears…
Cheeky fairy: Awwwww but wouldn’t it be great if she was pregnant!
Scaramouche: (From inside the cubicle) No!
Aretha: (Laughs) ARGH! NOOOO! Mini Gazza’s and Gazz-ettes!
Scaramouche: (From inside the cubicle) I dunno why the hell you’re using plural words there.
Scaramouche opens the cubicle door
Meat: Well, hen, what happened?
Scaramouche: (whispers) its... positive
Aretha: WOOHOO!
Meat: NOT! APPROPRIATE!
Scaramouche: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god-
Meat: Hen are ya ok?
Scaramouche: I- err sorry, Meat but I’m gonna have to do this-
Meat: Do what?
Scaramouche: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Swap scenes into Johnny and Gazza are both backstage having a drink.
Johnny: (Startled) GOD! She sounds like she’s in labour!
Gazza: Ha-ha...
Johnny: Ah, sorry, that was inappropriate
Swap back to the girls in the bathroom. Scaramouche now has her mouth covered by Charlotte. Charlotte lets go and Scaramouche stumbles forward. She puts her arm out and steadies herself on a sink.
Scaramouche: Oh my god! This can’t be happening!
Cheeky fairy: Well it is! Isn’t it fantabulous!
Scaramouche: (turns her head to looks at her in disgust) NO!
Madonna: Awww
Scaramouche: Well what do I do now?
Aretha: Ooooh go and tell Galileo!
Charlotte: Oh yes go do that!
Cheeky fairy: can we watch?
Scaramouche: NO!
Madonna grabs Scaramouche by her hand and pushes her out of the bathroom. Meat looks on rather sympathetic for Scaramouche but doesn’t say anything. The other girls stand in the doorway grinning. Scaramouche walks down the corridor and appears at the doorway of the next room. Johnny sees her and prods Galileo.
Johnny: I think you’re wanted
Galileo turns round
Galileo: Oh hey babe! Come over here
Scaramouche is still shocked and has her hands out holding on to both sides of the doorframe to steady herself. She lets go with one hand and gestures for him to go over to her and then she walks off to their bedroom closely followed by Galileo.
Johnny: (As Galileo leaves) If I haven’t said it before, I’ll say it now! You’re a lucky, lucky man!
END SCENE
They enter their bedroom Scaramouche waits at the side of the bed for Galileo to come in.
Scaramouche: (Points at the bed) sit down
Galileo: (Very pleased- thinking ‘something’ is going to happen) Ok!
Scaramouche: Gaz, we need to talk.
Galileo: (His face drops) Oh.
Scaramouche: Errrm; ok. You know I asked for that vanilla coke earlier?
Galileo: Yeah, what was that by the way? You hated that stuff.
Scaramouche: Yeah I know. Errm Meat reckons it was one of them craving thingies.
Galileo: (He begins thinking about what she’s trying to say) Yeeeaaaahhhh…
Scaramouche: And you thought it was nerves that were making me sick in the morning?
Galileo: Yeeeaaaahhhh…
Scaramouche: Oh look! What I’m trying to say is, I’m pregnant, Gazza
Galileo remains silent and frozen to the spot.
Scaramouche: Gaz?
Galileo still remains silent.
Scaramouche: I said I’m pregnant Gaz!
Galileo: YEAH oh no, that’s not good is it?
Scaramouche: (Sits heavily down next to him) I was hoping you could tell me
Galileo: Well, what are you going to do?
Scaramouche: (She looks at him) What the hell do you mean, what am I going to do! If I thought for one moment that it was solely up to me what I do about this (she jabs her stomach with her finger) do you really think I would have even told you!
Galileo: Don’t do that!
Scaramouche: Why!
Galileo: You might hurt it!
Scaramouche: Oh SHUT UP!
Galileo: What?
Scaramouche: You might hurt it?
Galileo: Yeah… I don’t know do I but I don’t think you hitting your stomach when you have our baby in it is gonna do it much good.
Scaramouche stops being angry and looks at him.
Galileo: What?
Scaramouche: Our baby?
Galileo: Oh crap it is mine isn’t it? OH MY GOD! I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with Johnny!
Scaramouche laughs
Scaramouche: GAZ! (He stops and looks at her) It is your baby!
Galileo: Oh. Well good
Scaramouche: Really?
Galileo: If you want- oh I don’t know Scaramouche! You know I want this baby so it’s up to you! I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, so… It’s up to you…
Scaramouche: Oh fine- But I get the final say on names otherwise it’ll probably end up being called something stupid like Beezlebub or something!
Galileo: So we’re gonna have a baby-
Scaramouche: No.
Galileo: Oh
Scaramouche: I’m gonna have the baby unless some miraculous thing happens which gives you the ability to have a baby
Cut to a bit later on when Galileo is waiting in the corridor for Scaramouche and is dancing around. Johnny come out of another room and sees him dancing.
Johnny: That good is she?
Galileo: (stops dancing) Yeah! She’s PREGNANT!
Scaramouche comes out of the room behind Galileo.
Scaramouche: Thank you Mr Speakerphone!
Johnny: Oh that’s a shame. Oh well plenty of time for us before you start to show eh babe?
Scaramouche: Piss off!
He enters the room opposite followed by Scaramouche and Galileo.
END SCENE
Johnny struts nonchalantly into the main room and jabs his thumb behind him at Scaramouche.
Johnny: She’s up the duff
Scaramouche gasps and slaps him round the head
Scaramouche: Thanks for that!
Johnny: (grins at her) anytime!
Scaramouche sneers at him as he goes off and all the Bohemians all scream and go up to Scaramouche.
Scaramouche: Move it! I have to be able to BREATH for two now!
Scaramouche pushes past the Bohemians and goes and sits at the same table as Johnny. Closely followed by Galileo.
Bob: (Looking concerned) you do want this kid don’t ya? Only you don’t look too pleased about it.
Scaramouche: (Dryly) don’t worry I’m ecstatic, see (she looks up and gives him a huge fake grin, before frowning and looking back down at the table)
Bob: (Raises his eyebrows) Ok then.
Johnny: Look maybe she just doesn’t want everyone crowding round her. Just give her some space!
Scaramouche: (Looks very surprised) Thank you
Johnny: (Shrugs) it’s true though, ain’t it?
Scaramouche: Yep.
Johnny gives a little laugh. Galileo looks very worried by the fact they might be getting on.
Galileo: Well that’s just what I was about to say!
Scaramouche rolls her eyes at Johnny.
Scaramouche: Course it was. (She stands up) come on I wanna get out of here.
They leave
END SCENE
It’s a couple of weeks later at night. Galileo and Scaramouche are staying over at the Heartbreak whilst Scaramouche is pregnant so that Meat can keep an eye on her. They are lying in their bed Scaramouche and Galileo are laying face to face, he has his arm wound round her waist. She gasps and opens her eyes in pain. She pulls away from Galileo and lies on her back. He doesn’t notice her wake up but turns over on his back and remains asleep as she turns over. Her stomach was painful, but she doesn’t know what’s wrong. The baby’s probably hungry she hoped. She stumbled out of bed only in knickers and a large t-shirt which hid her tiny bump and made her way to the door where she bent down and clutched her stomach in pain. She opened the door and closed it behind her; she gave a yelp as she curled up on the floor in pain. Pulling herself up against the wall, Meat comes out of her room next door.
Meat: Scaramouche? Is that-?
She looks up and sees Scaramouche leaning against the corridor wall opposite her looking at her with a painful, damp face where she’s been crying. Meat rushes up to her and puts one of her arms around her to steady her.
Meat: Shit! What is it hen?
Scaramouche: (Sobbing) I think it’s the baby
Meat: Ok hen, donnae worry, Ah’m gonna take ya ta the kitchen, ok?
Scaramouche gives a little nod between sobs and slowly goes with Meat who has her arms around her. When they reach the kitchen Meat sits Scaramouche down on a crate which was being used for a chair. Meat crouches down in front of her and strokes her face looking very worried and upset at seeing Scaramouche in such a state. Scaramouche looks straight past Meat as though she’s somewhere else. Tears are still streaming down her face.
Meat: Hen?
Scaramouche: I’ve lost it
Meat doesn’t know how to reply but she looks away from Scaramouche now with tears running down her face.
Meat: Do ya want me ta get Galileo?
Scaramouche: No! I- I can’t face him now,
Meat: Ah but sweetie he’d want ta help ya-
Scaramouche: NO!.. He can’t help…
Meat: Is there anything I can do…
Scaramouche: No… (Looks down at Meat) not unless you can give me my baby back
She brakes down in tears in Meats lap. Meat tries not to cry herself and puts one arm around her and strokes the young girl’s hair with her free hand trying to comfort her. Galileo can be heard from outside the room calling Scaramouche. He enters the kitchen and sees Meat holding Scaramouche on the floor. He hurries over to them and kneels down by Scaramouche and looks at Meat who has her head down near Scaramouche’s whispering things to try and comfort her.
Galileo: Scaramouche? (To Meat) Is she ok?
Meat: It’s the baby
Galileo: WHAT! NOW! Well what do I do? I’ll get some hot water and blankets!
He gets up panicking and rushing round the kitchen. Scaramouche feebly lifts her head and shouts at him through sobs.
Scaramouche: NO OF COURSE I’M NOT HAVING IT NOW! I’M THREE *censored*ING WEEKS PREGNANT!
Galileo stops in his tracks and realises what’s happened. Meat lifts her head from Scaramouche and looks at him.
Meat: (Whispers) I’m sorry…
END SCENE
Its a few hours later and Galileo is sitting on a crate the other side of the table looking curious and staring into space. Scaramouche is still laying in Meats arms on the floor. The kitchen door opens slightly and Cliff walks in rubbing his eyes, he stops when he notices the damp floor near Scaramouche and he opens his eyes properly to see Scaramouche, Meat and Galileo.
Cliff: (Sensing something’s wrong) What the hell-
Meat lifts her head up and shakes it sadly at him. He realises what has happened
Cliff: Oh God!
Meat: If you’re up now could ya do me a favour an stand outside an make sure no one comes in?
Cliff: (Still in shock) Yeah course… err do you want me to clear some of this (he gestures towards the damp floor) up?
Meat: Yeah, cheers
Cliff: (looking from Galileo to Scaramouche) It’s no problem
END SCENE
It’s very early morning; Cliff has fallen asleep in front of the kitchen door. Aretha sees him and laughs
Aretha: had a bit too much to drunk did you?
She gives him a playful nudge with her foot. She goes to open the door and Cliff jumps up
Cliff: NO! You can’t go in there
Aretha: What? Don’t be stupid! Course I can!
Cliff: (Stands in front of the handle) No! You can’t!
Aretha: (Getting impatient) why?
Cliff: I’m not sure if I’m allowed to-
Aretha tuts loudly
Cliff: Look. Wait here and let me go in and ask Meat if I can-
Aretha: Meat’s in there? Right-
She hammers on the door with her fist
Aretha: MEAT! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW! WHY THE HELL CAN’T I COME IN!
Scene swaps to inside the kitchen. Meat looks up.
Meat: Hang on!
She looks down at Scaramouche who is half asleep but still crying. Then she looks over at Galileo who is still sitting down blankly. She lifts Scaramouche to her feet and practically carries her over to Galileo. When he notices her he puts his arms out and Meat sits her down on his lap. Scaramouche buries her head in his neck and Galileo holds on to her tight. Satisfied with this Meat walks over to the kitchen door and opens it slightly
Meat: Will ya keep tha *censored*in noise down!
Cliff: Sorry I didn’t know if I could tell her or no-
Aretha: About what! Will someone let me know what’s going on here!
Meat: Keep it down! Scaramouche and Galileo are in there-
Aretha: So!
Meat: She lost the baby
Aretha: (Looks taken aback) Oh… Christ! Are they ok?
Meat: What do you think?
Aretha: Mmm…
The kitchen door opens wider. Galileo is standing there holding Scaramouche. He doesn’t look at them but walks past them a few steps before he turns around to them
Galileo: I’m- err- I- err- I’m gonna take them- err- I mean err- I think I’m gonna take her to bed
He stares at them blankly for a second before turning and walking off to their room.
END SCENE
It’s the next morning. Aretha, Cliff and Meat didn’t return to bed they’re all round the table drinking coffee in silence. None of them really knowing what to say. A group of about ten Bohemians enter the kitchen and set about making themselves breakfast and drinks. Madonna turns around whilst waiting for the kettle to boil and studies her three friends at the table.
Madonna: Jesus! You look like you haven’t slept a wink! What’s up?
Jackson 5 turns around
Jackson 5: I heard something going on in the night. Is that it?
Meat: Err yeah-
Aretha: It was Scaramouche-
Bob: (Whilst making him and Madonna tea) Oh right! (laughs) her and Galileo at it again? You know I know they’re young and all, but surely they do it way too much for someone in her condition.
Cliff: Well that’s just it! She’s not pregnant anymore.
Madonna: (Frowns) What? (To Meat) What does he mean?
Meat: (Rubbing her head) she lost the baby last night Mads…
There is a crash from where Bob has just dropped two mugs. The other bohemians in the kitchen turn to look at Meat.
Madonna: Oh my god!
Bob: Bloody hell!
Meat: Yeah…
END SCENE
Galileo and Scaramouche are in their bedroom, it’s still early morning. Galileo is laying with Scaramouche on top of him, her head buried in his chest. She wakes silently her face still damp with tears. She looks up to her boyfriend but can’t face waking him so instead she lies as she has been in silence until Galileo wakes. He wakes with a jolt.
Galileo: God!
He remembers what’s happened. He looks down at Scaramouche who he believes to still be asleep. And unwinds one of his arms from her body to brush a strand of hair off of her face.
Galileo: (Whispers) I love you
Scaramouche turns to look at him, giving him a surprise.
Scaramouche: Really?
Galileo: (Defiantly) Yeah
Scaramouche: But what about what I’ve done-
Galileo: Hey! None of this us your fault ok? Don’t ever think that-
Scaramouche: K…
She rests her head on his shoulder and buries her face in his warm neck.
Scaramouche: I love you too.
END SCENE
Johnny is in the empty kitchen talking on his mobile. Pop comes in behind him but listens in on the conversation.
Johnny: No! Don’t worry. You don’t call me good old fashioned lover boy for nothing. It’ll be fine. Ok. No I’ll phone you.
He ends the call on the phone and Pop is hovering in the background. He looks suspicious of Johnny and slightly worried.
Pop: Errr
Johnny jumps round in his chair
Pop: Who was that?
Johnny: Oh just one of the girls.
Pop: Oh… (He takes a seat next to Johnny) Ermm… you’re not still in contact with any of your old friends from GlobalSoft are you by any chance?
Johnny: What? No of course not!
Pop: Good good… Because you know that if they traced the call and found out where you were they could destroy all of the Bohemians and the Dreamer.
Johnny: Of course I know that- I’m not stupid.
Pop: No of course your not.
They sit in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Before Johnny leans back casually in his chair.
Johnny: So. Bad news about Scaramouche eh?
Pop: What about her? (Looks pleased) she got hurt?
Johnny: No. (Pops face drops) well kind of- she lost the baby.
Pop: Oh… Heavy. Are they ok?
Johnny shrugs as Meat walks into the kitchen.
Meat: Oh hi Pop.
Pop: I just heard bout Scaramouche.
Meat: Oh…
Pop: Are they ok?
Meat: I doubt it but ta tell ya the truth I ain’t seen much of her or Galileo since he took her up this s’morning. But I s’pose thas prob’ly for tha best though.
Pop: How d’you mean?
Meat: Well that her an Galileo are still alright together- it’s this sorta thing that tears couples up- (gives a little laugh) I think it would take the world ta break them two up.
Johnny: (Gives an impatient sigh) No. What she needs is a fresh start. New life- new man-
Meat: You just go leavin them two alone ya hear me- the last thing either of them needs is you tryin to get in bed with her
END SCENE
Galileo and Scaramouche are still lying in bed awake. He’s stroking her hair.
Galileo: Do you think we should get up soon…
Scaramouche: Maybe… I should practise guitar.
Galileo: Are you gonna be ok?
Scaramouche: How d’you mean?
Galileo: I mean being around everyone
Scaramouche: Well we’ll see…
Galileo: Ok
Scaramouche sits up and swings her legs over the edge of the bed. She rubs her eyes and looks down at herself.
Scaramouche: Christ! What the hell do I look like? I gotta get out of these clothes.
Galileo sits up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.
Galileo: No. You look perfect babe.
He kisses her neck and she smiles.
Scaramouche: I doubt the others will think that.
She stands up and goes over to a pile of clothes at the bottom of the bed. She sorts through them and pulls out a small black t-shirt with rips in it and tosses it on the bed next to Galileo. She looks at him.
Scaramouche: Well at least I’ll be able to wear that again
She also gets a pair of black jeans covered in writing and patches